5 Powerful Ways to Escape Negativity and Rewire Your Brain For Positivity

“There are two wolves inside of you and they are always fighting. One is darkness and despair, the other light and hope. Which wolf wins?

The one you feed.” — Cherokee Legend

Up until my early 20s, I thought I would never amount to anything.

I thought I would never overcome my fears and conquer my goals.

My ideal life stood there, waiting somewhere in the future, and I stood still in the present while living in the past, my demons pulling me to a screeching halt every time I tried to make a move.

I was negative, depressed, and anxious 24/7.

I walked around wearing a mask, pretending I was happy, optimistic. I pretended I wasn’t depressed and scared to death of where my life was heading. I hoped nobody would notice, and nobody ever did. It crippled me, until one day I decided I’ve had enough, punched the demons in the mouth, and embraced my paralyzing fears.

After transforming myself, studying and applying the science of behavior change over and over again, and helping others change their lives…

…this is what I learned.

You can’t exactly force positivity. It’s not something you do. It’s a result of the lens you use to view life. Both negativity and positivity are learned behaviors. They’re the result of your past experiences, beliefs, environment, and thought patterns.

Here are some common thought patterns most negative people share:

• They compare themselves to others
• They have unrealistic expectations
• They try to conform to rules someone else has decided for them and live a life which is not true for them
• They lack self-confidence
• They live in an environment that promotes negative behavior

But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can get rid of negativity, and teach your brain to scan for positivity instead.

It’s all about your lens — the way you perceive the world and yourself.

And you can change your perception by changing your beliefs. You can change your beliefs by owning the space between what happens in your life, and how you respond to it — the meaning you attach to the events that take place.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor Frankl

And here are 5 ways you can start using right now to rewire your brain for positivity:

1. Practice the Art of Reframing

This was a game-changer for me. This is akin to turning water into wine.

Remember, it’s not about the events that take place in your life, what situations you’re in, and the people you meet, but your interpretation of them. How you respond. Instead of going into a downward spiral after every bad experience, ask yourself those questions:

“What can I learn from this?”

“How can this lesson help me move forward?”

“How can I do it differently the next time?”

Now, this doesn’t mean that you won’t get discouraged, sad, or angry, but ultimately, you’re going to learn from them so you can move on, not get stuck, and make better choices the next time.

2. Decide how you want your ideal life to look like and who you want to be

If you don’t decide how you want your life to look like, then someone else is going to decide for you.

If you were exactly where you wanted to be in all aspects of your life — health, business, relationships, money -, your mindset was in the right place, and you did the things you loved, would you be negative? Most likely not.

Creating a life you are willing to literally… die for, requires planning, focused effort, and taking courageous action on the things that matter.

3. Set goals based on your ideal life

The human brain is a teleological machine, which means it’s always looking for a telos — a goal, an end. The word “Telos” is a Greek word, and it means, “with the end in mind.”

By providing it with appropriate goals, we’re steering it to the right direction. We’re saying, “here’s what I want you to focus on. Here’s where I want my attention to go, instead of all the tiny little troubles.”

Focused Attention x Courageous Action = Meaningful Results

4. Change your environment to match your goals

Environment is one of the major determinants of behavior change.

This includes people, activities, and everything else in your life that holds you back, or doesn’t support the new lifestyle, and your goals. You may have to be relentless and cut off friends that you’ve been hanging out with your whole life if they’re dragging you down. You may have to move to a different city or country that better supports your goals. You may have to finally become independent and move out of your parent’s house. Or, you may have to stop drinking alcohol, start eating healthy, and exercise.

These are examples, but you get the point. Let go of whatever holds you back, and seek people, activities, and habits that propel you forward and aid you in your pursuit of who you want to be.

5. Practice gratitude in the present

We are wired to look for danger, threats, and the negatives around us.

It’s a built-in survival mechanism dating back to the ages when we were hunters and gatherers, trying to escape and fight off predators. It served us back then, but in today’s society, it’s more of a hindrance than a benefit. Nowadays we are rarely in such physical danger.

By counting our wins and practicing gratitude daily, and writing it down, we intentionally steer our brain towards the positive, teaching it to search and scan for positivity more readily.

Repetition is the key, as with everything else.

Do you remember the Cherokee Legend at the top of my response?

Repetition is how you feed the wolfs, and you get to choose.